Or… hey, everything’s going to be all right, but stock up on few months’ worth of food and ammunition just in case.
by timo cerantola
Number… 10. Buy high, sell low, bomb Pakistan, avoid facing reality.
9. Pretend to care about America’s middleclass. Less education, less healthcare, less Constitution and less freedom. Hey, it worked for George Bush – twice!
8. Hey, let’s loan some money to the Federal Reserve so we can borrow that money back from the Federal Reserve (plus interest) and then, let’s give that money to a bunch of crooked bankers and rich people on Wall Street?
7. Disregard the wishes of that segment of the population known as “the public” and more money for war – and let’s bomb Pakistan!
6. Let’s hire some experienced people who know how broken and corrupt the system is (because they helped make it that way) and see if they can fix the problem. Hey, who better than white collar criminals to understand the mind of white-collar criminals?
5. Sell Alaska back to the Russians for trillions – but they have to take Sarah Palin with the deal..
4. How about we spend some of that bailout money on distancing our economy from oil dependence and convert to greener, renewable energy technologies? And, maybe we could invest the bailout money on huge job creating infrastructure projects and rapid transit rail systems, wind farms and other programs that reduce polution, energy consumption and create employment all at the same time. And let’s cut back on America’s favorite pastime and major multi billion-dollar expenditure - WAR! Huh…? OK, forget that. That’s just stupid. Let’s just bomb Pakistan!
3. Let’s continue with more of Bush’s policies of light on peace, heavy on bombs bullshit – and let’s drop a few bombs on Pakistan!
2. Stay positive. We have a fairly good chance of not reducing the planet to a smoldering pile of radioactive grit.
…And finally, the number one way to save America and the economy…
1. Obama’s going to put some of the bailout money on his Visa Card.
1 Comment
January 26, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Dear Eternal Pessimist:
So maybe Obama will have to back out of many of his campaign-based promises, and maybe a great many of the cliches in the inaugural speech were taken effectively verbatim from Bush’s old speeches (as identified by Jon Stewart), but really, give the man a chance. People already call him a great leader (even though he hasn’t done anything yet) and he believes that he can solve all of America’s foreign and domestic problems simultaneously, so lets wait and see if he really can follow through. Who knows, maybe bombing Pakistan and throwing a couple extra charges on his Visa card will buy America happiness – at least the rapture of it all will carry them through Obama’s year-long honeymoon.