Obama Saves the World (someone get that man a cape)

By Timo Cerantola

When times are tough and trouble abounds, there is always that one person, that one rugged individual willing to stand up, take charge and look trouble in the eye. Of course, quite often, that person is delusional (and wears tights).

It was a surreal moment during his inauguration. The worshiping masses, all teary eyed and in total agreement that finally, life was going to be rosy again now that Barack Obama was president. 

George Bush, Washington’s former village idiot, sat through the inaugural proceedings looking clueless, staring aimlessly into the air like a dog who’d just been told not to lick its ass -his thoughts tumbling around in his brain like underpants in a dryer. Still, I had to wonder, was the worst chapter in American history finally over?

Granted, with Obama in charge, I think we have a much better chance of not reducing the planet to a smoldering pile of radioactive grit but, I’m still not totally convinced. You see, after only two months of Obama style change we can believe in, and Obama has given the green light to bombing yet another sovereign state (Pakistan) with automated drones. As usual, many innocent civilians have been killed.

In the last eight years, that is what I came to expect from George Bush’s America. George Bush’s America never had any respect for international law, another country’s sovereignty or its people. Shoot first, ask questions later; that was George’s methodology. You’re either with us or against us.

So, what has happened to Obama’s change?

With Obama, maybe the torture of prisoners as well as Bush’s torture of the English language may have changed, but so far, that’s about it.

And, despite these obvious contradictions to Obama’s stated change, I’m a little weirded out when I see all these Obamamaniacs, their eyes glazed over, full of child-like wonder and suspending any semblance of critical thinking when Obama speaks his charismatic magic. It’s kind of spooky. This Obama worship has taken on a sort of cult-like messianic weirdness. I think we’re approaching a ‘lets all drink the Kool-Aid’ kind of eeriness here. Didn’t I see this in a science fiction movie or, was it an episode of Star Trek?

But do not blaspheme Obama. His followers will attack anyone who questions any word that leaves the lips of their savior; anyone who might contradict their Obama moment.

Granted, Obama’s charisma is without question – though I suspect highly amplified by the pathetic ineptitude of the man he replaced. Indeed, anyone who became president after George Bush would seem almost super human. Obama has very small shoes to fill. It’s not hard to top eight years of unrivaled incompetence.

And true, Barack Obama’s election may be historical, though it will be truly historical when a black man or woman can get elected president of the US and no one thinks it’s a big deal.

So what does Barack Obama actually stand for?

Change?

If bombing Pakistan was Obama’s opening act, that’s not change, that’s business as usual. I guess not many people picked up on his campaign rhetoric or reviewed his voting record or took a close look at his cabinet choices. Has anyone noticed or does anyone even care that Obama’s cabinet appointments were the same old white-collar criminals and warhawks that we usually find in Washington’s power elite?

Did anyone pay attention during Obama’s campaign?

As I recall, according to Obama’s election record he was for private sector health plans run by big insurance, conservative medical/hospital associations and big pharma. He has publicly rejected a universal national health program.

He was for continuing the embargo on Cuba and hostile confrontation with Venezuela’s populist (and democratically elected) President Hugo Chavez. (Obama will promote protectionism at home but demands free market access to Latin America?).

Obama was a former defender of the Palestinian people but is now an AIPAC toadie in full support of oppressing the Palestinian people and the continued expansion of Israel into the West Bank.

Obama, prior to his election, endorsed the $700 billion bailout of Wall Street – and has since continued to support any and all attempts to first save the wealthy on Wall Street as opposed to the US economy.

Obama is for escalating US military intervention in Afghanistan – which, after only his first week in office, included the bombing of neighboring Pakistan.

Obama’s true litmus test will be when he repeals the Patriot Act. So far, he likes it the way it is. So, all I can say is – meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

The one good thing I can say about George Bush is, he was easy to criticize. His idiocy was unrivaled and obvious. But with Obama, and the hoards of Obamamaniac supporters, even constructive criticism is difficult. His presidency has already taken on mythological proportions.

So, can we expect more massive bailouts, perhaps into the tens of trillions of dollars?

Obama’s already told Americans to get ready for the prospect of “trillion-dollar deficits for years to come.” You do realize this money has to be paid back at some time, right?

Paid back by your grandchildren, great grandchildren and great, great grandchildren.

I imagine that once Obama starts raising taxes to pay for these bailouts (oops, did I say bailouts, I meant stimulus packages) of the rich, this Obama fantasy bubble will burst just like all those economic bubbles, because there are no miracles in store for America, only debt; enormous debt, prosperity crushing, debilitating debt.

Eventually, reality will sink in. The many deluded Obama-zombies will doubtlessly be disappointed when their taxes go up and their quality of life goes down. As jobs are lost, foreclosures and bankruptcies continue to climb and neighborhoods become deserted, maybe then we, the unwashed masses, will realize Obama has no miracle solutions up his sleeve. Maybe then we’ll realize that Obama, like most political leaders, is owned by the power elite. Obama’s limitations will be revealed when the economy bottoms out in the next year or so when the lines of jobless, homeless and hungry can’t get the “change” from its new leader.

The public, as usual, has been seduced by eloquent oratory and shallow promises. Promises that likely will not and possibly cannot, be kept. And even though Obama is obviously a man of superior intellect, as far as I can tell, he does not have superpowers beyond those of mere mortal men.

Obama, growing on me like a colony of E. coli

By Timo Cerantola

 Two months in and the best thing I can say about Barack Obama is that he’s not George Bush. Granted, he may be better than that banal skin sack Bush, but if the outcome is the same, does it really matter?

 Is a knife in your back better than one through your heart? What ever happened to change he promised?

 To date, all I see is politics as usual. You know, first win public approval with lies and promises and then, do whatever the hell those with the real power tell you to do. So far, president (and part-time superhero and media star) Obama “THE MAN OF CHANGE” has continued with a lot of that Bush league stuff.

 Here’s change Obama style:

He has bombed Pakistan several times. He plans to leave Guantanamo open for another year (while he expands Bagram?). He says he will withdraw the troops from Iraq next year – and leave a mere 50,000 troops and several military bases operational – all subject to Pentagon review (with options to remain as long as the Pentagon sees fit). Obama has made no mention of the hundred and fifty thousand or so ‘contractors’ (mercenaries) the US employs in Iraq.

And finally, Obama is continuing George Bush’s bailouts for wealthy people in banking and on Wall Street. That’s right kids; Obama seems content to continue with George Bush’s economic program of ‘no greedy wall street bastard left behind.’

Like Bush before him, Obama too believes that corporate and bank losses should be the responsibility of the taxpayer – and that corporate and bank profits the responsibility of corporations and banks. In case you forgot people, capitalism already has a plan in place for banks that go broke – they go bankrupt and their stockholders lose all their money. And, the people who ran, pimped and thieved for those banks they ran into the ground find other work – (hopefully not in banking or anywhere near other people’s money).

What has changed so far?

Obama has built a government out of white-collar criminals, lobby group bootlickers and corporate elite lap dogs. Is this the change Obama spoke of? His number one money man is that (nasty word) Tim (another nasty word) Geithner, a former president of the New York Federal Reserve Bank – and one of the main players who guided us into this economic mess.

Obama has empowered the same corporate criminals (and spawn of satan) who, with obvious conflict of interest, believe the solution to our econmic problems is to help wealthy people maintain their wealth – at the expense of generations of taxpayers.

Yet each day, as more and more American people lose their jobs and homes and take up residence in tent cities whilst lining up for food stamps, their president bails out crooks. Hey Barack, where’s their bailout? They got beat up by the stock market too! (Fortunately, I still have my Beanie Baby collection – which now represents my entire pension savings).

I imagine soon, (within a year or two) the US dollar will collapse – this will lead to a collapse in the US economy at large, hence severe unemployment, poverty and eventually civil unrest and violence. Then, martial law will be declared. The media will all get together to sell martial law to the public as the best possible solution for the country. Naturally, the people will buy into the big lie and be thankful for martial law – an Orwellian parallel of staggering proportions.

And so, as this economic Titanic sinks into the depths, Barack Obama like George Bush before him, is busy preparing seats on the lifeboats for the richest among us. The rest are being locked down in steerage and are about to go down with the ship.

To those of you who entertain the delusion that our financial woes will soon be over due to Obama’s superhuman ministrations, I view you as merely evidence that reality, like science, is no longer considered valid when it proves to be contrary to political theatre and propaganda.

If you are not fond of reality, I recommend you watch more television. Yes, television – where healthy minds go to die. I believe if you flip on your TV right this minute, you can catch America’s Biggest Loser, Jerry Springer or the network news (if you’re into fiction).

As the book says, “You shall know them by their deeds” – and so far, Barack Obama’s deeds speak volumes. Furthermore, I know that saying this is like walking into a NRA meeting wearing an Osama Bin Laden costume but here goes – Barack Obama is a fraud. Sorry, if the truth hurts.

The US is not leaving Iraq as promised. Obama ‘the man of change’ is willing to let bygones be bygones with American war criminal George W. Bush and those in his administration (who were only following orders).

 By all standards of law, George W. Bush is a war criminal. The world witnessed this criminality in his illegal war against Iraq. Hundreds of thousands of innocents died and their country was destroyed. Bush was responsible for torture and several US constitution violations such as spying on Americans, illegal wiretaps and secret detentions. But, Obama says, lets look forward not backward.

 The people elected Obama so that he would clean up corporate crime and greed and regulate the financial system so that the public would regain its trust in it. Obama was elected because he was going to restore America’s reputation around the world. Obama was elected because he was going to get the US out of Iraq ENTIRELY! Obama wasn’t elected so that he would expand a winless war and start bombing Pakistan.

 What a typical politician he’s turned out to be. If Obama wants the confidence of his nation, perhaps its time to find some balls and stand up and be the f…ing leader of all the people, not the mouthpiece for the elite. But as it turns out, no surprises here. Obama is cut from the same lying piece of shyte that Bush was. The presidency is merely a (insert your favorite nasty word here) country club. And like most presidents, Obama prefers to sound like a leader rather than behave like one.

Good-bye American Dream, hello American nightmare. [end]

“One of the most horrible features of war is that all the war-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting.”
-George Orwell, Homage to Catalonia, 1938